Saving You From Me
by Masaichu
Summary: I'll be gone by the time you read this. I'm sorry for holding you back for so long. But you don't need me supporting you anymore. Believe me though when I say I loved you. Farewell, Dear Sister.
1. Contemplation

When the small tape player blared out it's tune, Dell winced backwards. Was that really his voice he was hearing? He knew he had sung the song too low, but he couldn't believe it had been off by that much.

Rolling up his sleeve, he tapped open the tiny door on his arm to reveal the keypad and turned a dial. That stupid voice pitch changer hadn't done anything but make him sound even worse. The song hit another high area and Dell closed his eyes tightly for a moment.

"Take me to a nuclear reactor-" He shut it off immediately, not able to listen anymore. His own voice was enough to drive him crazy.

Sitting at his desk, he counted how many songs he could remember ever trying. Workaholic, Sunday Sunset, Meltdown...

Each tape sounded worse than the last, but this had taken the cake. Rubbing his throat slightly, Dell coughed and tried to sing a scale. All that he could muster were scratchy, sharp notes. Nothing at all like his Vocaloid counterpart made it out to be.

Stressed, he slipped a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. Leaning back in the chair, his eyes watched the trail of white smoke drift up to the ceiling.

In his mind, the events of the recording replayed. Haku had been there as well, trying to record a song of her own. Dell had to admit it, her voice was better than his own, but he wouldn't say it was any better than that. She was a Voyakiloid after all, she wasn't going to be getting better any time soon.

But the bitter reality stayed. Her voice was better than his. Who was his voice better next to? No one he could think of off hand. No one he could think even if he looked it up.

In fact, Haku had probably sung more songs than he ever had thought of. She was even gaining a bit of a fan base, something else he'd never believe any Voyakiloid could have. Most people didn't even know of his existence, though. Haku was number one. Haku was the only Voyakiloid, the only one suffering.

Now it didn't even seem like suffering anymore.

_--_

For once, instead of working like always, Dell lay sprawled out on his bed, arms behind his head. Another cigarette lit, another trail of smoke. He was trying as hard as he could to think of someone who was his fan. Someone who wouldn't be afraid to say that liked listening to the sounds a Voyakiloid made.

They weren't afraid to say it for his sister, but apparently for him. If they knew him. If they listened.

What if one day, Haku gained enough popularity to be a Vocaloid? What if she left him for them? He'd be all alone, without any hope of singing himself. He knew full well his potential had faded a long time ago.

He was just holding her back. Just 'the brother, the sidekick.' She didn't need him, did she?

"Augh! I can't think that! Haku would never leave! She knows that she's nothing without me! Nothing! I'm the one who supports her! Me! Me alone! Who cares about all the others!?"

Kicking around on the bed, Dell cursed to himself when his cigarette burned out. Throwing it in the ashtray beside the bed, he violently turned on his other side and continued to fuss.

He wouldn't believe it. Because it wasn't true. At all.

But what was the truth then?

Was he wrong?

Haku needed him...No, it was the opposite. He needed her. He was just holding her back. She was perfectly capable of leaving him.

"Don't leave, Haku," He murmured, "Don't go..."

--

He wondered vaguely if she'd gotten the note. His last words of farewell. It wouldn't matter though. Not now.

Walking slowly on the platform, Dell stared down at the piping hot yellowish liquid below him. Exactly as it had looked when he'd pictured it. Just like that song had said.

If there was any way to go, it was this. To just melt away. Even from up here, he could feel his gears melting slightly.

Standing at the very edge, dangling between life and death.

Mustering as much courage as he could, Dell forced a smile.

"Farewell, Dell Honne." He spat his cigarette into the vat and watched it disapate before closing his eyes and taking a step onto a thin sheet of air.

Free falling.

Flashes of life came before his eyes.

Waking up. Meeting Haku. Singing for the first time. Being thrown out. Finding a home.

Being with Haku. Smiling a rare smile with Haku. Berating Haku. Sleeping near Haku. Living with Haku.

Haku. Haku. Haku.

A lone tear fell from his eyes.

For a second, his body burned. His legs felt numb, then nothing at all. His arms seemed broken, then no pain.

Screams tried to seep past his lips.

Vocal cords melting. Wires welding themselves together. Metal forming into puddles.

The feeling of searing warmth on his brain chip.

And then nothing.

Darkness.


	2. Bringing About the End

_I can feel my body breaking apart. My legs have melted away already. The wires in my arms are exposed and fading away._

_I am fading from this world._

_No one is going to miss me though. Dell Honne was just a failed version of Len Kagamine. It doesn't matter anymore who I was though. I'm no longer a part of the world._

_My heart chip is melting. I feel my bonds with others vanishing. That bond with Len that made me his failure is gone. I'm no one's failure now._

_A feeling of confusion is left, and leaves quickly._

_The bond with Master, whoever he was. He never needed me anyway. It wasn't like I was ever used much by him. Only because he had to if I wanted to keep walking. To keep living._

_A feeling of regret is there, vanishing as quickly as it came._

_And Haku. I feel her link being severed._

_Sadness erupts from it._

_I'm sorry I'll be causing you so much pain, but it's for the better. You'll have all the other Vocaloids there to help you to fame. Perhaps I was just a stepping stone you had to get over._

_But Haku, you...You were more than another Voyakiloid. Perhaps the Vocaloids are a loose family. But we are true family._

_Biological family._

_With me gone, and you with them, however...There won't be anymore Voyakiloids. Heh. That's probably good though._

_No one else should have to go through the pain and humiliation you and I had to. I'm going to miss being there for you though. If I end up in Heaven or something, I'll be watching you always._

_Ah...Suddenly I feel...So sad..._

_My body is almost gone now...I'm severed away from the rest of the world..._

_Will you remember me when I'm gone, Haku? I wish there was more for you to remember me for..._

_I ignored you, now that I think about it...Always having work to do...I wish that I...I could have done more with you..._

_You just wanted me to have some fun, didn't you? Even if you were a failure, you still tried to have fun, even if it was in some wrong ways. Your drinking never made me happy...But you've harped on me about smoking...I shouldn't have yelled at you for it..._

_No, I can't leave you...I can't...No...I can't leave..._

_I...I don't want to die! I want to go back!_

_I'm clawing my way through the fiery liquid but I can't get any higher. I can't move at all._

_No..._

_It can't end like this...I can't leave you alone, I want to see you be successful! How could I be so selfish? Please! Let me go back! Let me see Haku again! Let me try singing once more for Master!_

_It's no use...I'm...Fading...Dying..._

_Forgive me...Haku...I'm sorry for everything..._

_Please don't...hate me...for what I've done to you..._

_I loved...No...I still love..._

_I...love you...Haku..._

_Error...Error...Er...ror...Ca...Can not...Com...pute...Love...You...You love...Love...Go...To...Have to...I..._

_Farewell..._

--

_It's warmer than anything I've ever felt, but I know this is the place. Dell is there, in that liquid. And I'm giong to join him._

_I don't stop. I don't hesitate._

_I run forward and jump as far as I can, plunging towards it._

_How could he have ever thought I'd leave him? And that feeling I had...That feeling of him, leaving...I've never felt something as painful as that before._

_He was wrong. I __do__ need him._

_Terribly so._

_My body hits the chemicals, and I can feel him. His melted bits and pieces are still floating here and there, melting further away._

_Suppressing the tears in my eyes takes all my strength._

_There's no point in me going on anyway. Without you, I have no reason. I want to be with you, Dell. Being a Vocaloid doesn't matter to me if I don't have you..._

_I would have pulled you into the spotlight. Would have tried to make you famous and happy like you'd always wanted._

_Why did you decide this, though? To die like this?_

_So you wouldn't leave a trace behind?_

_Ah...My body is numb. I don't feel any pain, but it has just a twinge of burning._

_I hope you won't be mad at me for going after you, even in death. Understand though that I would do it for any reason. You're the only one who ever understood me. The only one._

_My limbs are detaching already...I must have some faulty material in me...Oh well...The faster I go, the quicker I can see you..._

_The burning is in my chest now...All the way up to my head, melting away my thoughts._

_All those songs I used to sing, I can't remember them..._

_But I hope I will somewhere else..._

_Ne, Dell? If there is a Heaven...I want to sing with you there. I'm tired of singing all alone with my bad voice...I want to sing alongside you and your voice..._

_We'll sing and people will applaud for us, Dell. For us. For you._

_It's...coming to the end already...I...Can't even remember your name...Who are you again...?_

_Why can't I..._

_But I know that I...I loved you..._

_I still love you and I don't...want to forget that..._

_Thoughts glitching...Glitching..._

_I'll see you...You...Somewhere..._

_Error...Error...System Failure...Shutdown Process...Shut...Down...Shut..._


End file.
